


Grind

by TheSpazzBot



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eren Is a Little Shit, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Now with actual grinding, Pining Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:33:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpazzBot/pseuds/TheSpazzBot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one that's not actually about grinding, but the rivalry between Eren 'who owns a coffee shop' Jaeger and Levi 'who owns a tea shop' Ackerman. They might fall in love along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Hate You (A Latte)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittleGreenPuppy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleGreenPuppy/gifts).



The first thing Levi thinks when he sees the new coffee shop across the street is that its name sounds like a type of bowel movement. The second thing is that the employee washing the front window would definitely look good sprawled against his sheets.

His priorities might be a little off.

There is an unopened shipment of tea leaves sitting on the front counter that he needs to stock today, but Levi somehow finds himself more interested in watching the way the employee sways behind a neon open sign. Which is just as tacky as their goddamn name. _Better Latte than Never._ Levi knew he hated puns for a reason.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been silently standing by the window watching the way the employee moves, but it’s long enough for him to realize that he opens in about an hour, and tea leaves don’t stock themselves. _Unfortunately_. Levi shuffles to the supply drawer, wondering if he should hire on an extra hand to complete this menial work. It’s not that he hates stocking, but he fucking hates stocking. Levi sighs as he locates the box cutter, mentally preparing himself for the best thirty minutes of his life.

He slides it across the table top, elbows finding their way onto the counter. The shop is quiet, peaceful, and he enjoys the silence. Call it an aesthetic, but Levi refuses to give into the shitty indie music that everyone seems to be listening to nowadays. In the back of his mind, he bets that damn coffee shop is playing some acoustic cover of _Your Body Is a Wonderland_. Maybe he should stop being so cynical. He’s about to actually stop being a lazy old man who likes to monologue about his problems when suddenly, his front door is rattling.

The lights aren’t on in his shop yet, and he has a (classy) sign flipped closed on his front door. So, either someone is just a self-righteous prick or extremely stupid. He sees a face mashed against the door and figures out which one it is pretty easily.

It probably shouldn’t surprise him that the gorgeous employee is already making trouble for him. Trouble in the name of smudges all across his freshly cleaned window. Add wiping the window to the list of things he’ll have to get done before opening, but at least he _likes_ cleaning. _Goddamn stock._ The idiot finally seems to recognize that Levi is coming to unlock the door and peels his face away from the glass. Levi can feel his teeth start to grind.

The kid (Levi thinks he can’t be over eighteen) stumbles backwards, bright green eyes wide in surprise. And if there was one thing Levi wasn’t expecting, it’s how beautiful the mysterious (not so mysterious) coffee shop employee looks like up close. It’s definitely better than the view that made Levi feel like a goddamn creeper. Even so, that doesn’t excuse the dirty smudges plaguing Levi’s window that are currently getting under his skin in two hundred different ways.

The door unlocks quietly, allowing Levi to give the asshole a firsthand experience of Levi’s signature scowl. “What?” It comes out bitter and nasty. _Just like their coffee,_ Levi thinks. He doesn’t miss the way Mr. Tall, Dark, and Disastrous flinches slightly, taking a couple of steps backwards.

“I…” The kid reaches behind his head to scratch at a mop of shaggy, brown hair, an awkward smile pulling at his lips. “I just wanted to introduce myself.” Once the words are out, the kid seems to visibly relax, hand falling to his side and grin looking a bit less forced.

“Don’t you think that you could have acted like a normal human being and waited until I opened?” Well, the kid wasn’t expecting that. Levi can tell by the way his hands gradually curl into loose fists that the asshole was assuming Levi to be completely cordial about the way he practically swapped spit with Levi’s window. Levi can be described in a multitude of words, and cordial is usually not one of them.

The smile has been wiped from that handsome face, replaced with thinned out lips and a furrowed brow. “Look, you don’t have to be an asshole about it.” Ah, so the kid has some fight in him after all. A hand finds itself on Levi’s hip as he cocks himself to the side. He wasn’t really expecting the idiot to defend himself. Thought he’d run back to that shitty coffee shop with his tail between his legs. But something twisted and self-loathing inside of Levi is glad that the little shit had the balls to stand up for himself. Something that he’ll probably regret prodding later, but - _what is it all those teenage snots say?_ – yolo.

“Says the dickhead who wiped his filthy face all over my shop window.” Levi glares up at the now visibly angry boy, eyes alight with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity.

“I’m not a dickhead, dickhead!” Hands have been thrown up into the air, and behind the kid Levi can see a frantic blond making his way across the street. “I just wanted to offer you a free cup of coffee, but fuck you, asshole!” It’s not a necessarily _busy_ street, but the blond still waits for the pedestrian hand signal to flash. “You can take your piece of shit tea and shove it up your ass!”

Levi’s nostrils flare.

It’s one thing to watch this lunatic make a complete fool out of himself, but insulting his tea is one step too far. “The only thing that’s a piece of shit is your fucking coffee, limp dick.” Levi’s about to just sock the prick right in the face because fuck self-control, this is his pride on the line. Well, his tea. Same difference.

“Fuck you, sh-”

“Eren!” The blond with the bad haircut is pulling back on the blasphemer’s arm, dragging him back towards the crosswalk. “I-I’m sorry, sir. He is just very, ah, passionate about his shop.” _Wait, his shop?_ The blond shoots Levi an apologetic smile before going back to yanking ‘Eren’ away from Levi’s shop. The kid shoots him a bird as he’s pulled away, and Levi almost, _almost_ , sends him one back. Similar to how he _almost_ throws a brick through the front entrance of the shitty coffee shop with the shitty pun. Levi settles for sending Eren a scathing glare until he disappears from view in the entrails of that damned cesspool of a store.

He returns to his own, slamming the door shut because he’s pissed. Levi Ackerman is pissed off, and it’s that stupid, arrogant coffee shit’s fault. The box of unopened tea leaves is still sitting undisturbed on the front counter, and Levi remembers that he actually does have a job besides stewing over ignorant shitheads. Grabbing the abandoned box cutter from the counter, Levi is probably now considered armed and dangerous; and he honestly wouldn’t put it past himself to impale Eren with the stubby blade. _Eren._ Even the name makes him angry. _Eren._ Makes him want to kick the asshole in the shin, because he’s short and he can get away with things like that.

_Eren._

Makes him want to kiss the stupid off that face, and-

Wait.

_Wait._

No.

He refuses.

Eren Fuckface might be (is definitely) one of the most attractive people he’s ever had the displeasure of meeting, but isn’t there a saying that goes ‘beauty is only skin deep’? And if beneath that skin is nothing but an insufferable asshole then Eren Coffeefucker could be the sexiest man in the world and he still wouldn’t be interested. Or at least that’s what he tells himself.

Because as Levi stares out the window to see Eren flipping him off across the street, he can’t stop the stupid flutter from filling his chest like a love struck schoolgirl.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a commission for TheLittleGreenPuppy hehehe. The prompt was rival coffee shop/tea shop owners AND ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS GAH MY FAV TROPE. So, this should be around eight chapters, but it might end up being more (or less) depending on how it plays out. Either way, it's going to be at least 10,000+ words lulz. Hope you enjoyed it so far!
> 
> Tumblr:  
> http://fuzzyporcupine.tumblr.com/


	2. A Brewed Awakening

Levi wants to scream.

Well, actually, he wants to strangle Eren Javafuck. But he’s pretty sure that’s illegal, and _the little jackoff had the balls to open the most abysmal piece of shit across from my shop,_ will probably not hold up very well in court.

So, Levi is left to fester in his aggravation as he watches Eren Dick Dingus set up one of those cliché chalkboards out in front of _Better Latte than Never._ He doesn’t exactly know when observing (stalking) the little fucker across the street became part of his daily norm, but he blames it all on that arrogant asshole. There’s no other explanation for it, and Levi refuses to think otherwise.

He’s currently crouched on the ground, silver gaze barely peeping over his window frame; because there is nothing worse Levi can think of other than getting caught in the act by that piece of horse shit. Well, he can think of a few things, but this ranks pretty high up on his list of _Fuck Off, Fuck You, and Fuck This._

There’s a big stupid smile on douchecanoe’s face, and Levi definitely won’t admit the butterflies that swirl around in his chest as he watches Eren finish writing on the chalkboard. He thinks that maybe he should have believed a little harder in god and maybe he wouldn’t be cursed with the world’s worst crush. To be honest, he thinks that he’d still be fucked. Eren is pretty gorgeous.

But his mother once told him that a bleached asshole is still an asshole, and Eren Bumfuck is _definitely_ an asshole.

 _Just look at him, so fucking smug,_ Levi thinks as he sneers at the grinning jackwad across the street. _Just standing there like an idiot. Who does he think he is? Glaring at me like a child._ Wait.

_Oh, shit._

There are several ways in which Levi could have played off being caught staring, but he’s _definitely_ cursed, because the only thing he can think to do is duck below the window. Back to the wall, Levi feels a little more than mortified. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he’s a grown ass man who is not going to be thwarted by a little punk with a penchant for beautiful eyes and a shit taste in beverages. Yeah, he’s Levi fucking Ackerman. And Levi fucking Ackerman is not scared of a prepubescent shit stain.

He pulls himself off the ground, glancing out the corner of his eye to see if the shit is still glaring. Oh, he is. Except now his arms are crossed against his chest, and _goddamn_ those forearms are a piece of art. And by piece of art Levi means that he wouldn’t mind– _wait._ He swears that he doesn’t always think with his dick. It’s just taken a certain insufferable ass to reignite his libido. Not… not that it ever went anywhere.  _Goddammit._  

Levi feels like he’s going through puberty all over again. 

All that’s missing is the acne decorating his chin and a mouth full of metal. High school was a tough four years for him.

He takes a deep breath, moving himself away from the window and the menacing gaze of Mr. Latte. Levi still doesn’t understand how someone that young could own a shop, because there is _no way_ the kid is older than twenty. And if he’s being completely honest, Levi’s a little jealous that the bastard already has his own place at such a young age. Shit, this is just rich. Being jealous over a snot nosed brat. Levi’s fucked.

The sound of laughter pulls him out of his self-battering thoughts, back over to the shitty coffee shop with the shitty name.

Eren has his arm thrown over that short blond’s shoulders, and something like jealously swells up in Levi’s chest. It makes him almost feel like he’s intruding, looking in on a scene that was never meant for the eyes of someone as pessimistic as him. God, that’s fucking depressing. Levi sighs, vision falling from the window and back to ‘specials’ board that has yet to be filled.

He’s feeling like it’s a black tea day, writing the script across the dusty chalkboard. Levi doesn’t really expect that much business today, Thursdays being his least busy time of the week. It’s usually like that for all the shops listed on the street, the day bringing in a few tourists at most, but keeping the working class in their offices. He has just always assumed that many of them are working through their lunch breaks to cover for the upcoming weekend. If Erwin is any example, then Levi would be right on the money.

However, _Better Latte than Never_ is obviously an exception. He sees the café filled to the brim with customers, all smiling with coffees in their hands. _Fucking hipsters,_ Levi thinks, because it only makes sense that the abysmal shop would bring in bums who live off their parents’ wallets. But money is money, and apparently, _Better Latte than Never_ is making it.

Before Levi actually considers what he’s doing, which is obviously something extremely erratic, he is out the door. He doesn’t really have a plan when he steps out into the winter chill, and the only thing that he’s relying on is raw instinct. This probably isn’t a very good idea.

He spots Fuckface lingering by the entrance, greeting customers with that too bright smile that makes Levi want to throw up puppies and kittens. That bastard must be stopped. Levi looks around, thinking of the best possible way to dispatch the menace. And like a sign from the heavens, he spots it. _Prepare to meet your maker, Eren Coffeefucker._

The plants that usually line his store front have withered away months ago, but the hose he uses to water them is still there, fixed to the brick wall. Picking up the nozzle, Levi twists the dial, turning on the water. He starts spraying the empty garden, baiting his time until he gets a reaction, and thinking about how quickly the bastard was to anger the last time they met, Levi doesn’t think he will have to wait long.

Sure enough, Levi hasn’t even made it past the first section of his dead garden before he hears it, “Hey, dumbass, you know it’s thirty degrees outside?” Levi’s hand tightens on the handle of the nozzle. _Oh, he knows._ He hears the sound of footsteps clicking on the asphalt, makes his chest tight with anticipation and something else he doesn’t really want to think about now or ever.

“Eren, you can’t just walk across the middle of the street! Use the crosswalk!” Levi turns to see the blond frantically waving his arms in the air, trying to signal Eren. But it’s too late, the bastard is already making his way across the yellow median. The kid’s brows are furrowed in aggravation, hands fisted and swinging at his side as he makes his way over to Levi.

He cocks his hip defiantly, hand still gripping the nozzle of the hose. Eren Shitface doesn’t even know what’s coming to him. Levi smirks.

“Did you not hear me? It’s fucking freezing out here, you idiot.” Eren’s looking at him like he is five hundred types of stupid, hands in the air as he raises a single brow at Levi. “Hello, earth to asshole.” A palm swings across his face as the bastard tries to get his attention.

Eren’s about to open his mouth again, but before he can get the insult out, Levi has already drenched him with water from the hose.

“Oops.” Levi doesn’t sound the least bit sorry.

For a second, Eren just looks shocked, and Levi figures that’s just the rush of cold water hitting him in the face. Then it actually hits the idiot what has happened and that expression quickly morphs into something promising homicide.

Eren screams, lunging at Levi in all his sopping glory; but Levi’s faster, smacking the asshole directly in the face with a thin stream of water.

“Down, boy.” Eren tries again, looking quite comical in his soaked barista uniform. “Oi, don’t you know it’s fucking freezing out here?” These are definitely the moments Levi lives for, watching arrogant shitfaces get what’s coming to them. Even though, he _might_ have overdone it a little with this one. It really is fucking freezing.

Eren finally stops trying to charge Levi, pausing to wipe the dripping bangs out of his face. “What the fuck!” Those bright, green eyes are alight with rage, so thick Levi can almost feel it radiating off the kid. He has to admit, angry looks pretty damn good on Eren Assdumpster. “You… you…” The shit looks like he is struggling, so Levi opts to help him out.

“Sprayed you with water, yes.” Eren almost looks just as shocked that Levi’s openly admitting it as he did when Levi doused him. What can Levi say? He’s a man of honesty. And tea. Honesty and tea.

“Why?” the kid bites out, just standing there with his teeth bared like he wants nothing more than to rip Levi’s throat out. _Because I wanted to,_ doesn’t seem like a very decent response. Especially when Levi is facing a slightly shivering douchebag who is two seconds from leaving the coffee life behind in favor of sharp knives and spotlights on America’s Most Wanted.

So, Levi just shrugs.

It seems decent enough.

Eren’s fist connecting to his jaw, however, tells him that it was, in fact, not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actual trash, sorry.
> 
> Tumblr:  
> fuzzyporcupine.tumblr.com


	3. Hit Me with Your Best Pot

Levi doesn’t think this quite qualifies as war, _but it’s really goddamn close._

He wants to do something stupid like spray Eren Ballsack in the face with water again. However, his swollen jaw reminds him exactly how that last encounter ended. Maybe he should just return the favor. _Maybe he should just burn down the fucking shitshop._ He’s feeling more homicidal than usual. This can’t be a good sign.

Levi wouldn’t even be this infuriated if it wasn’t for the message currently scrawled on that tacky chalkboard out in front of _Better Latte than Never._

_Tea is for assholes. Drink something that’s for awesome people. Drink coffee._

Well, he’d probably still be a little pissed, but that’s not the point. The point is that Eren Numbnuts thinks he can desecrate the name of tea for the sake of this petty battle. Levi feels some responsibility, but beneath that is an unsurmountable need to shove his fist down Eren Douchewaffle’s throat. After he lets him know exactly why coffee is the liquid spawn of this earth.

It’s enough to make him cringe (which, thankfully, he doesn’t considering the right side of his jaw is the size of a softball).

Hands are fisting by his side as he watches the shop across the street. Watches that goddamn cherry smile pull at Eren’s cheeks. It’s disgusting. He bets those hipster bastards wouldn’t take too well knowing the owner of the place gaining their patronage beats up helpless (okay, he might be exaggerating) tea shop owners. Maybe that should be his revenge. Get the story plastered across the local news.

_Is Coffee the Cause of Mania? More at six. Back to you, Johnny._

Levi does that annoying thing where he sucks the front of his teeth. It _is_ a promising plan, but he wants to teach the kid a lesson, not ruin his entire life. Then again the fucker did sock him in the face. _Promising indeed._

Suddenly, his shop door is chiming, and he looks up to see a bulking blond blocking the entrance.

“Didn’t think I’d see your big ass here today.” Levi leans against the front counter, arms crossing over his chest as he watches the man pass through the threshold.

“Nice to see you, too, Levi.” The man smiles, one hand stuffed in the pocket of his slacks and looking so fucking corporate Levi could vomit. He’s never been one for the big company chains, one reason he decided to start a business himself. Never liked the thought of ‘working for the man’. All that bullshit he heard in high school, the controversies and idle talk over a blunt beneath the bleachers, it stuck with him; and as soon as he got his degree, Levi set to starting up the tea shop.

Erwin Smith, on the other hand, was a different story.            

He doesn’t know why or how they are still friends, hailing from two different worlds now and before they began this weird comradery. But Levi has always, though he would never admit it, enjoyed having the benefit of a sensible friend. Why Erwin puts up with his nonsensical bullshit, hell if he knows.

But Levi is still giving him a side eye, because it is fairly bizarre for the man to show up on all a Saturday of all days. He taps his foot, fingers playing on his forearms as he narrows his glare. Levi might trust Erwin, but he doesn’t trust this. An abrupt appearance is only code for trouble, and it is probably in the form of a raging lunatic named Hanji. Why else would Erwin visit now but to drag Levi out on one of the maniac’s impromptu Saturday drinking contests? Levi clears his throat in the way that demands answers.

Erwin finally breaks, a poster boy smile plastered on his face like there is nothing suspicious about him being here on a weekend. “I decided to check out the new coffee shop across the street.” Levi’s eyes widen. He would take an entire weekend, _an entire week,_ of Hanji vomiting in his toilet over this news. “The guys at the office said good things about it, and I decided to try it for myself.”

Levi could die.

“You’re fucking kidding me.” He tries to keep his voice level, but it’s hard to do when he knows that shithole called a business has actually been getting good reviews. Even worse that his friend _gave_ them business. He can only compare this feeling to finding out your spouse of twenty years has been cheating on you for the past fifteen.                      

“Not all of us hate coffee, Levi.” Erwin’s still smiling, and Levi feels like he knows more than he’s letting on, the fucking bastard. Levi pushes himself off the counter, hands turning into fists as he walks behind it to the register. “That being said, I believe it really lived up to its reputation. Even you would probably enjoy it, Levi.” He’s not good at dealing with his emotions, but this feeling is just completely foreign to him. Something that definitely exceeds anger. _Definitely makes him want to punch someone in the face._ And he doesn’t really know how to react, settling for crushing one of the display beverage cups in his hand.

It causes Erwin to take a step back, thick brows quirked in surprise.

“As much as I’d love to stay and chat about how you’d bend over for a cup of that horse piss, I have things to do, Shitwin.”

“Your jaw is looking better.” Silvers narrow dangerously at the man, the sneaky bastard. He had told Erwin about getting socked in the face, considering the man dropped by the next day. However, he might have left out that it was the little fuckface across the street that busted his jaw. It was already embarrassing enough to be punched by some skinny, boyband wannabe. But for it to be his mortal enemy. Oh, that was priceless. Which was exactly why Levi hadn’t mentioned it. But Erwin is wearing _the look._ Something that means he is just a couple of seconds away from sniffing out Levi’s bullshit. Something that–

“You asshole!”

Levi turns towards the entrance only to see a very, _very_ irate Eren Jackwad. The shit has thrown the door open and is huffing like he ran over here, which is probable given the state of his barista uniform and his dishelved hair. That or he just had a quickie back in _Better Latte than Never_ ’s storage.

“You fu– oh, er, hello, Mr. Smith!” Eren’s entire demeanor changes, hand pulling back behind his head to rub at his neck as he meet’s Erwin’s stare. “I hope you liked the coffee!” Eren is looking up at Erwin like the giant is some fucking idol, and it’s only barely pissing Levi off.

Erwin chuckles, deep and professional, the kind of laugh that unsettles you with feelings of insecurity. Levi can tell that the chuckle doesn’t settle Eren’s nerves, who is now standing ramrod straight as he stares in awe at Erwin. _Like a puppy,_ Levi thinks. He can practically see the tail wagging, waiting to get a treat. He would say that it’s pathetic, but he knows that is only his j-word talking.

“Of course, Eren.” The kid fucking beams. “I was just telling Levi that he should try it out. I think he would be pleasantly surprised.” Levi and Eren simultaneously scoff, and Erwin just grins.

“Sorry, Mr. Smith, but I don’t think your… _friend_ would be interested.” Goddamn right he wouldn’t be interested. At least the asshole is right about one thing.

“Levi’s quite stubborn, Eren, but I bet you can get him to come around eventually.”

Levi wants to ask Erwin what the fuck he is doing, but he settles on asking Eren, instead, who is still red faced with rage despite Erwin’s presence. “What the fuck are you doing here, shithead?” Eren’s gaze turns back to Levi, brows furrowed and fists clenched as he walks over to the counter.

“I think you know what the fuck I’m doing!” He’s leaning over the surface now, inches from Levi’s face.

“Looking constipated and angry? Maybe you should go take a shit.” He smirks, taking in the way Eren’s cheeks flush an even deeper red. Levi’s almost positive that the kid won’t act violently with Erwin present; but then again, the shithead is a ball of raw emotion, so he takes no chances, stepping backwards from the asshole.

“Don’t play dumb, asshole! You keyed my car! I know it was you!” Eren pulls out a phone only to reveal a series of photos showing a poorly drawn dick with the words ‘Jaeger is a dickhead’ on the hood of what he assumes is Eren’s car. Levi chokes on an ill-timed laugh, palm going over his mouth to contain the chuckle, because this asswipe really deserved that. Karma is a bitch, they say, and Eren Shitweasel just got served in the form of a new paint job. Ah, life is beautiful.

“Look, shitstain,” Levi pauses, looking up at Eren as he leans forward on the counter, “I didn’t touch your shitty car, and even if I did, which I didn’t, I wouldn’t key a fucking dick on your hood. It’d definitely be a pile of shit since that would describe you a lot better.”

Eren is about to say something that Levi guesses will probably have the word asshole in it when his phone rings. “Armin, I’m a little– what?” Suddenly, his eyes widen. “You’re joking, the cameras caught him?” Erwin exchanges a confused glance with Levi, and all he can do is shrug considering he has no clue what’s going on. “Yeah, I’ll file a report. Thanks.” Eren hangs up, sliding his phone in his pocket as he turns back to Levi. “Well, you’re in the clear, asshole.” Levi might roll his eyes. “Ah, it was good seeing you, Mr. Smith. I hope to see you again soon!”

“Thank you, Eren. I will definitely stop by again next week.” Erwin smiles at the bastard as he turns to walk out of the shop. Maybe Levi needs new friends.

Just before Eren exits through the doors, he looks back at Levi, “And I’m still watching you, shorty.” Two fingers go to his eyes before directing towards Levi. Before Levi can say anything, however, Eren is out the door and sprinting across the road back to his shop.

“That fucking asshole,” Levi grinds out.

“I think he’s a nice kid. Just a little misunderstood is all.”

Levi definitely needs new friends.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sort of just happened, but hey I like BFF Erwin secretly knowing that Levi has a thing for Eren and planning to get them together. No more evil ex-Erwin 2k15. 
> 
> Tumblr:  
> fuzzyporcupine.tumblr.com


	4. You Fit Me to a Tea

“What the fuck is this supposed to be?” In front of him sits a neatly wrapped present on the counter, decorated with obvious consideration. His eyes are narrowed in suspicion at the red bow placed on top of the gift, brows twitching as he awaits a response.

“A peace treaty.” Levi doesn’t know if this is a joke, but it’s not very funny. Silvers taper even further as he brings his gaze up to the man standing in front of him. Seconds pass, and Levi’s starting to think that Erwin’s being serious.

“A peace treaty,” Levi deadpans, brow twitching as he mulls over the words. Erwin hums, and obviously that’s supposed to be a decent answer. Levi could strangle the asshole. Instead, he twirls a finger around one of the curls popping from the bow, silently contemplating what would happen if he decided to launch the gift at Shitwin’s big head.

“Look,” Erwin starts, voice thick with authority, “he’s a good kid.” Levi actually scoffs at that. He doesn’t know what Erwin’s definition of a ‘good kid’ is, but it’s obviously warped if he considers a little shit who delivers fists to the face anywhere close to that category. “And that coffee shop is the best thing to ever happen to him.” Levi feels a little bit like he’s being lectured, and he has half a mind to ask if Erwin is the kid’s long lost father who has been out of the picture until now and is trying to make up for being a shitty dad. It seems doubtful, but Erwin is a man full of secrets and a hidden lovechild wouldn’t necessarily be _too_ surprising. Probably. “I want you both to get along.” Oh, he’s _definitely_ being lectured.

“How very chivalrous of you.” Levi flicks the side of the present, watching it skid across the counter into Erwin’s chest. His vision turns upward, only to be greeted with an unimpressed stare. Levi sucks in his teeth, trying not to feel guilty for discrediting Erwin’s good will. But it’s a shitty plan, because even his conscience realizes that there’s no use in trying to justify his need to be an asshole to Eren ButtMuncher anymore. A loud, heavy groan falls over his lips as Levi allows his forehead to drop against the counter. Erwin might start chuckling, and Levi might start plotting the blond fart’s demise.

“I promise this isn’t going to be as painful as you’re making it out to be.”

“Says you,” Levi mumbles into the marble countertop. He should probably stop impersonating a small child, but right now he doesn’t really want to act his age if acting his age means having to deliver a peace treaty to Eren Ballsack.

The sound of the gift skidding swiftly back across the counter causes Levi to lift his head, eyes narrowed as he tries to express his frustration through the power of evil glances. It obviously doesn’t work, because Erwin just gives him a quick wave of the hand and a ‘good luck’ before he’s shuffling out the door. Levi _really_ needs new friends.

But right now he needs a plan.

Because how the fuck does Erwin expect him to just waltz into _Better Latte Than Never_ and deliver this… _peace treaty._ Levi could fucking cringe. He probably does.

He goes back to jabbing at the gift with his pointer finger like it’s something otherworldly. Knowing Erwin, it probably is. There’s a small part of him that wonders why he doesn’t just dump the present in the trash. It’s not like he _has_ to make peace, well hypothetically. Levi shouldn’t even be the one to apologize, anyway. Should he? No, he’s done nothing wrong… besides soak the kid in the middle of November, but that’s beside the point. Everyone has their faults, after all. And obviously Levi’s is being a complete sucker. That is the only explanation he can think of as to why he is gathering up the stupid gift, briskly walking out the entrance of his shop.

 _This is fucking stupid,_ Levi thinks as he jaywalks across the street, gift in hand and scarf pulled tightly around his face. The wind is whipping around him like some premonition that this is going to be a terrible idea, howling in his ears as he steps up on the sidewalk. And if Levi can say one positive thing about coming over to this atrocity of a shop, it’s that the asshole has finally wiped the tea slur from the shitty chalkboard stand outside the store.

That’s probably the only plus.

He isn’t even inside yet, and Levi can already hear the indie music rattling throughout the shop. And Erwin said this wasn’t going to be painful, the lying bastard. Levi grits his teeth, hand tightening around the gift as he continues towards the shop.

The window is cluttered with white paint and obnoxious drawings of coffee cups with huge eyes, thoroughly eliminating his ability to spot the kid through the glass. What he can make out, however, is a bunch of beanie wearing shitheads who probably like to talk about things such as world peace and PETA. Just fantastic.

Taking a deep breath, he pulls open the door to the shop, making an annoying bell begin to ting excitedly at his arrival. This is already terrible, but Levi tells himself there really is no possible way it could get any worse. He’s assaulted by the smell of hazelnut and mocha as soon as he steps through the threshold, along with a distinct scent of caramel and whipped cream. It’s kind of cozy, and if it weren’t for the abundance of hipsters and knowledge of the idiotic owner, Levi might actually find this place charming. As much as he hates to admit it, he can see the appeal of the tiny shop. The dimmed lights, chic furniture. It’s quaint, and Levi kind of wants to punch himself in the throat for thinking so.

“What are you doing here?” Levi whips around and remembers exactly why he thought Eren Mochajizz would look good beneath him, or above him, he really wouldn’t have a preference as long as it involved ending the night wrapped in the sheets with the incredibly attractive asshole. Barista uniform pulled tightly around lithe hips, muscled arms flexing beneath a collared shirt, Levi definitely thinks that he must be a masochist. Eren clears his throat, and Levi realizes that he must be staring. Yeah, Erwin really is a lying piece of donkey shit.

“I have something for you.” It’s mumbled like an awkward apology, but in a sense that’s what it is. Something that also has Levi finding a sudden interest in the texture of the wood floors. God, this is turning into an actual disaster, and Levi’s not even sure who he should really blame for it anymore.

“What?” He looks up to find Eren staring at him with a cocked brow, face a picture of confusion. Levi isn’t positive if the kid didn’t hear him or is just shocked that Levi would be giving him something other than the finger. Either way, Levi just wants to get this over with and continue with his plan of ending Erwin Smith.

“I said,” Levi takes in a deep breath, “I have something for you.” Eren looks shocked, and Levi thinks he probably should have just thrown the gift at the asshole and let him figure it out for himself. There’s a beat of awkward silence that’s only broken by the idle chatter of the hipsters and the godawful indie music. Levi clears his throat and immediately decides that was the worst thing he could have done, now obligated to continue the conversation. But nothing is coming to mind, even his usual insults flying out the window leaving him completely brain dead. He takes to fiddling with the gift in his hands, waiting for his head to screw itself back on properly, lest he die of social awkwardness. “A peace treaty.”

“Peace treaty…” Eren tries to start, wringing his hands on a dirtied towel as his eyes dart to the package pressed up against Levi’s chest. “Is that–”

Levi abruptly places the gift on the counter before Eren can continue, hands now left to twist into anxious fists. And he doesn’t even know why he is getting this worked up, why his heart is beating this fast. It’s weird and abnormal, and he doesn’t like it at all. Levi should probably leave, but something inside of him is curious as to what Erwin bought the little shit. It is _his_ gift after all.

That’s a terrible excuse to stay, and god does he know it.

But it doesn’t stop him from rocking back and forth on his heels as he watches Eren lift the gift up into the air, fingers already fiddling with the wrapping. Levi cringes with the nonchalant way the kid tears into the present, but forces his mouth shut considering this is supposed to be a peace treaty. Levi still doesn’t know how he got suckered into this. Oh, wait. Shitty friends. Right.

The wrapping reveals a brown box, plain and generic with no indication to what could be inside. A furrow has developed in the kid’s brow as he pulls the box open, and Levi tries to ignore the way his chest clenches at the sight. He doesn’t know what’s inside, but he wasn’t expecting for it to cause the asshole’s eyes to widen to comical levels.

Suddenly, there is a loud, boisterous laugh filling the shop as Eren throws a hand over his mouth. Bending over, the kid is reduced to tears as he tries to compose himself, “What… what the… oh my god, what the fuck?” Levi’s brows furrow as he steps forward to see what’s so goddamn funny. Looking over the edge, Levi swears that Erwin’s death is going to be long and painful. It’s not the fact that the peace treaty is in the form of a coffee mug. It’s what is written on the said mug.

_Oral makes my day. Anal makes my hole weak._

Trying to pick up the remainder of his dignity, Levi grabs the box, darting out of _Better Latte Than Never_ , leaving a still incoherent Eren Pissdick. Once inside his own shop, he immediately locks the door, flipping his sign closed. Staring down at the box in his hands, he contemplates how much of a mess it would make if he threw the fucking thing against the wall. _Too much,_ Levi thinks and instead decides to just shove in under the front counter. Maybe he can throw Erwin against a wall. That sounds much more fun.

That or burying himself in a six-foot hole.

Yeah, that sounds pretty amazing, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin Smith, wingman extraordinaire
> 
> fuzzyporcupine.tumblr.com


	5. Stop Being Such a Cutea

It has been at least a week, but it’s not like Levi’s _actually_ counting (six days, eight hours, and forty-three minutes). Call it pride, vanity, but he refuses to so much as even look in the direction of _Better Latte than Never._ There are few and far between moments in his life that he can remember being that thoroughly humiliated, and being reminded of how hotly his face steamed isn’t exactly something Levi likes to relive.

No, he’s perfectly content with unpacking tea leaves in the safety of his own shop. The bastards might be a pain in the ass to stock, but at least they don’t cause him public humiliation. _Yet,_ Levi thinks, considering it was Shitwin that led him to this hobbit lifestyle. If friends can betray him, surely tea leaves will.

The homicidal thoughts racing through his head have all but increased since the incident, but at least they are no longer directed towards a certain brunet shitstain. If anything, he guesses that Erwin’s plan for peace and tranquility did work in a bizarre way. The manipulative bastard.

Levi’s contemplating whether or not he should post a sign outside his shop banning all customers with caterpillar brows when he hears the door open. He’s about to welcome the customer, but then Levi sees who it actually is. The usual greeting hides beneath his tongue, instead means of a quick escape flying through his mind, _because hell no is he going to deal with this._ It’s only eight a.m., code word: way too early for this shit. But none the less, Levi stands there frozen, customer service be damned, because Levi certainly is.

For a split second he thinks about hiding behind the counter, but Levi remembers that he has already been spotted, and this little shit has witnessed enough of his agonizing humiliation. So, he just keeps the awkward gawk and glare, not really good for anything other than breathing, and hell, he’s not even really doing that correctly.

A few more seconds pass before Eren is clearing his throat, because Levi sure as shit isn’t going to be the one to initiate whatever _this_ is. It would not bother him one bit if the asshole decided that it wasn’t worth it and just marched right back out of Levi’s shop. Mainly for reasons that would allow for further avoidance of the issue, but also because he’d get a pretty good view of that _glorious_ ass. But Eren DonkeyTits is obviously not going to walk out of here without spewing whatever bullshit he’s been holding in this past week. Levi can tell, the way the kid is gently swaying from side to side, jaw clenched, yeah, Eren definitely has something to say.

“So, can I have my mug back?” And Levi would have never guessed it would be that.

His cheeks flare a brilliant red, and he silently curses Erwin Smith’s name to whatever god is listening. Levi hasn’t blushed this badly since he walked in on his old college roommate pounding some faceless girl into the mattress. Well, and since his last encounter with a Mr. Java Ass. But he doesn’t like to think about that, definitely doesn’t like to be reminded of it. So, that’s probably why he shoots the little shit a venomous glare. That and the fact he’s trying to deflect that he actually does still have the fucking mug. Levi knew he should have thrown it against the wall, fuck the consequences.

“No.” Somehow, he is able to keep his voice deadpanned, face also a mimic of his vocals. And he doesn’t know why he doesn’t just turn the cup over. It’s still in the same place where he left it under the counter, and handing it over would end this increasing awkwardness before it gets too mortally damaging. But Levi is a little dazed by the white sheen of teeth glittering at him as Eren smiles, so he can’t honestly be considered to make rational decisions.

“I figured you’d say that.” The kid is walking (swaggering) over to him with this too bright grin plastered across his face, and Levi suddenly feels like Eren knows something he doesn’t. It feels _risky._ And Levi Ackerman doesn’t do risky. Not anymore. No, Levi Ackerman runs a goddamn tea shop, doesn’t speed, even donates to the homeless. But he doesn’t do risky. “If you’re worried about me displaying it in the shop, I swear I won’t. Scout’s honor.” Levi rolls his eyes, deciding to just start restocking the tea leaves with the hopes the kid will just get bored and leave. He’s desperately trying to keep this goddamned peace treaty considering it cost Levi his pride. However, a certain asshole doesn’t seem to get the hint. “It is technically mine, anyway. You did give it to me.”

Levi looks up at that, “I had nothing to do with that abomination. Blame ‘Mr. Smith’.” He finger quotes the name, knowing Eren will pick up on the mockery. “And I don’t even trust you enough to shit in my shop’s toilet, kid.” The asshole huffs dramatically at that, placing his elbows on the front counter as he stares up at Levi.

“Yeah, well I didn’t just come for the mug, you know. Even though I do actually want it back.” Levi meets the determined stare, and his heart might do a couple of flips. He swallows thickly, hoping that Eren is as observant as he is eloquent. “I wanted to offer up a peace treaty of my own and see if you would like to take me back up on that free coffee.” Levi’s nose might scrunch up at the mention of drinking that poison, but there’s still a resolute gleam in Eren’s eyes as the barista waits for Levi’s answer.

“Free tea, and I’ll think about it,” Levi says, palms slightly sweaty as he rubs them on the front of his apron. There’s a faint smirk pulling at Eren’s lips, and Levi starts to feel like maybe Erwin was on to something with this peace treaty bullshit.

“Free tea it is then.”  

* * *

When Levi walks into _Better Latte Than Never,_ the shop has already closed down for the night. Being the old grump he is, Levi’s tea shop closed two hours prior, never really being one for the night owls. He left that to places like Starbucks, or what he liked to call, Hell on Earth. But _Better Latte Than Never_ isn’t the same metaphorical sin in Levi’s book. At least not yet.

The place has been cleared of customers, the smell of mocha wavering faintly in the air as Levi walks further into the shop. Unlike the last time he made an appearance here, there is a soft melody playing over the radio that sounds faintly like a mixture of 1940s jazz. It settles the nerves in his gut knowing that Eren has obviously went out of his way to make Levi more comfortable. And also makes those butterflies reappear, the fluttering bastards.

Suddenly, there is a clanging, followed by a yelled expletive. The sound has Levi rounding the corner of the wall, only to see Eren sucking on his thumb and spinning in circles.

“Shit! Motherfucker! Goddammit!” He’s about to say something, but Levi’s breath is taken away by the scene in front of him. Candles. Fucking candles. And as cynical as he would like to be, the setup actually makes him smirk.

“Looks nice,” he says, voice sounding a lot deeper than usual. It throws him off for a second, but then he remembers that he’s supposed to be the composed one, right? So, Levi simply blows it off, watching as Eren turns around to face him, face wide with shock.

“T-thank you. I didn’t think you’d be here this early.” The kid leans down to pick up a lighter off the ground, cheeks faint with a pink tone. Levi hums, he is a _few_ minutes early. Shuffling over to Eren, he extends his hand, reaching for the lighter. Eren looks befuddled for a split second until Levi rolls his eyes and gestures towards the object. Once the brunet realizes what Levi wants, he quickly turns it over, allowing Levi to flick out a flame.

He leans the spark over the unlit candles, lighting them before the flame falls back to burn his thumb (which he is assuming happened to Eren). “Candles, huh?” Levi asks, watching Eren sway nervously out of the corner of his eye. When all he gets back is an anxious gulp, he sighs, placing the lighter down on the table. “I said it was nice, didn’t I?” Levi can see Eren smile, and it enlists a subtle smirk of his own. It is nice, after all.

But then Eren is suddenly walking back out of sight and behind the counter. Levi is left confused for a few seconds, wondering if he scared the kid off. _This will make working across the street a whole lot more awkward,_ Levi thinks, gently scuffing his shoe against the floorboards. However, Eren soon reappears, this time with a teapot. “I didn’t know what kind of tea you liked, so I just guessed.” Well, that’s not necessarily a _good_ sign, but then again, the little shit did live up to his peace treaty of free tea, so Levi can’t really be that disappointed.

Levi goes to sit down, but is quickly stopped by Eren. “Allow me,” the kid says as he pulls out the chair for Levi. And he silently wonders where all this is coming from. Where that little asshole he absolutely abhorred went to. It’s definitely a good change, so Levi doesn’t think he should do that much complaining.

Eren pushes in his chair, and Levi quickly starts pouring himself a cup of tea. As soon as Eren has taken his own seat, Levi brings the cup to his lips, immediately tasting the sharpness of black tea. “Good guess,” he murmurs, letting his hand take the drink back to the table. Eren smiles at the praise, and Levi can’t help but feel his heart twist with longing.

It’s almost insane to him, because this is the same asshole who made his life (well, okay, maybe that’s being just a little dramatic) a living hell as soon as he moved his business into Levi’s neighborhood. But instead of the deep levels of hatred Levi should probably be feeling, all that’s running through his veins is want. Pure unadulterated _want_. And it’s driving him absolutely insane.

“I didn’t think you were going to show,” Eren says as he pours himself a cup of tea. It pulls Levi out of his own mind, silver eyes scanning back over to the brunet across the table from him.

“Why?” He takes another sip from his cup. It’s not _quite_ up to Levi’s standards, but with all things considered, Levi’s standards are pretty damn high.

“I’m sort of an asshole.” _Tell me something I don’t know,_ Levi immediately thinks, smirking into the drink. But there is a look of seriousness playing on Eren’s face that tells Levi the kid is not joking. Sighing, he sits the cup down with a soft thunk.

“Look, kid. We’re both assholes.” Eren’s brows furrow at that. “But beneath all the tomfuckery you decided to pull when we first met, you actually aren’t that bad.” That expression slowly starts to fade from offended to appreciative, and Levi feels his chest just fucking beam. Reaching down beside him, Levi slowly pulls a small box from the ground and places it onto the table. Flicking it with his thumb and forefinger, he slides it over to Eren hoping that the brunet won’t use the gift against him.

Eren grins as he pulls the mug out of the box hooking a finger around the handle. “You’re really going to let me have it?”

Levi rolls his eyes, huffing as he crosses his arms against his chest, “It’s your gift, idiot. What do you think?” That smile doesn’t fade as Eren tucks the mug back into its box, and Levi decides that he definitely made the right decision in returning the piece of shit gift. Even if it does cause his ears to turn five different shades of red.

They settle into a kind of normalcy after that, silently sipping their tea over the quiet sounds of the soft jazz. Levi thinks that this place could actually be a respectable shop if it played music like this, which he tells Eren only to earn a swift kick to the ankle for his brashness. Of course, the asshole gets an even harder one in return, but Levi says that it’s what he deserves for being a little shit. However, Levi can’t help but enjoy the time spent in the quiet coffee shop, filled with nothing but the swaying music and Eren’s laughter. It enough to have him almost refuting his hatred against coffee.

_Almost._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Levi, you charmer.
> 
> [Tumblr](http://fuzzyporcupine.tumblr.com).


	6. You're Brew-tea-ful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, imperfectEquinox, for finding a second pun for the title :'D

His hands are trembling, sweat beading on his forehead.

“Relax, Levi.”

Silvers narrow for a split second, a scoff flying from his lips as he quietly regards the bastard who somehow got him roped into this debauchery. “Easy for you to say,” he mumbles and is immediately met with Eren’s muffled laughter.

“You’re doing great.”

Levi scoffs, “I’m sure you tell that to everyone, Romeo.” And suddenly, there is a pair of hands gently landing on top of his own. He would pull away, but Levi has been going at this for the past thirty minutes. Eventually something’s got to give, he supposes. However, it isn’t like Eren is really being all that helpful, heavy breaths floating down the back of Levi’s neck with every intake of air. If anything, the bastard is a distraction, all toned muscle and a wet dream desire just outlining Levi’s back. And if he didn’t think Eren was attractive before, well then… “Stop trying to distract me.”

Eren hums noncommittally, and Levi is tempted to throw an elbow backwards into the brunet’s gut if it wouldn’t screw up the design he’s currently crafting in the mug. Well, design is one word for it. Utter shit is probably the correct definition, though.

“I’m not trying to distract you.” Those hands begin to creep up his forearms, grip pressing into the muscles as Eren tries to direct Levi to pour the foam at a certain angle. “Much.” He can feel the blush start to paint his cheeks, palms becoming sweaty as Eren’s expert fingers start to dance over his skin. The little shit knows exactly what he’s doing, Levi thinks. “There.” The grip on his arms starts to loosen as he looks down into the coffee mug. “Perfect.”

It’s far from  _perfect,_ but Levi can’t help the traces of pride that ignite his veins as he sees the foam leaf float above the coffee. Or maybe that is just from the feeling of Eren’s breath against his skin, the brunet still keeping fairly close to Levi despite releasing him. But instead of feeling suffocated, cornered, he enjoys the closeness. And that is something Levi never thought he’d think considering how much of their relationship was built on spewed insults and inappropriate gifts.

But he has been trying to mend the gaps, slowly but surely. Spending breaks in the hipster coffeehouse. Allowing Eren to show him barista tricks that he’ll never be able to put to use. Like today as Levi stands beneath the dimmed lights of the bar, silently admiring the foam leaf Eren helped him create. He tells himself it’s for the business, or more specifically, his tea business. It isn’t failing, not even close. Which seems strange considering the massive buzz  _Better Latte than Never_ has created on the old downtown block. But with the influx of foot traffic comes an influx of curious customers wondering what the fuck black tea tastes like.  _Savages._ However, those savages are helping to pay his bills, so Levi really can’t complain.

And mending the gap? Erwin’s idea. Solely, completely, one hundred percent Erwin Smith’s scheme. It’s not like Levi really wants to spend countless evenings relaxing in the amber light at  _Better Latte than Never._ Nope, it is only strategy. Please the little shit across the street, and in turn, Eren will be more apt to promote his tea shop. A money thing. Not a  _‘I really want to get into his pants’_  kind of thing, Levi reminds himself.

Just business.

“I’m thinking of naming a drink after you.” Levi’s eyes snap up at that, watching as Eren grabs a washcloth to wipe off his hands, a smug grin plastered on the face that spends a little too much time in Levi’s mind. The towel is tossed to him, and Levi catches it with ease. “Short and Angry.”

He scoffs as Eren’s smirk grows larger, and Levi can’t help but unleash a tiny grin of his own as he cleans his hands. “How original.” Abandoning the washcloth on the counter, Levi takes a cautious step forward, hip slightly cocked as he looks up at Eren. “I bet it tastes like shit.”

“Bitter, yeah.” Levi would punch the bastard directly in the face if he didn’t like looking at it so much. “But you just got to develop a taste for it.” Levi quirks a brow, a flash of white hinting beneath the subtle grin that’s playing on his lips. “Then it doesn’t taste as bitter as it does sweet.” And Levi should call out the little shit right now. Shouldn’t be moving forward towards the ever charming barista, but in the complete other direction. Preferably the one that leads to his shop. But all he can manage is to lean against the counter, watching the way Eren smiles like a simple joy, all teeth and shine.

“Charming,” Levi says, fingers trailing across the counter in miscellaneous circles. They move along the grain, the simple patterns in the mahogany. And suddenly they are stopped. Not because Levi froze them. No, the movement was actually a pretty decent distraction from the startling pair of greens that are staring at him from above. But now Eren’s own fingers are pressing down on top of his own, forcing him to still against the smooth surface.

He feels cornered in the warmest of ways, and all Levi can do is glance up and become lost in those deep depths of green. Mouth open, eyes wide, he knows that attractive probably isn’t the word that could best describe him right now. But Levi’s not really thinking about how appealing he looks when Eren’s fingers begin to tangle around his own.

“You know,” Eren starts, “I don’t think you would have said that a few weeks ago.” Well, that’s pretty obvious. A few weeks ago, Levi was preparing for war. Charming is definitely not the word he would have used to describe Eren. Obnoxious. Arrogant. Annoying little shit. Any of the above worked, really. But now… the bastard is  _still_ all of those things. They’ve just taken on a more sentimental value in Eren’s personality, Levi guesses.

“How do you figure that?” His head cocks to the side, eyes glinting with amusement. “Because I sprayed you in the face with water?” Eren’s expression sours, and Levi can’t help but chuckle. “Or maybe because you punched  _me_  in the face?”

Eren nudges his shoulder, hand gripping his just a little tighter. “Asshole.”

“Yes, I probably would’ve said something along those lines.” Well, he actually  _has_ said something along those lines. Multiple times in fact. Levi watches as Eren’s eyes narrow, but that warm palm still squeezes tight around his own. It’s nice, comforting, feeling the heat etch into his skin. And for lack of losing his sanity in a pair of bright eyes, Levi has to look away back down to the swirls tracing the mahogany.

“Levi.” He tries to ignore the instinctive edge that is wearing his conscious to immediately respond towards Eren’s call. But he can’t. It’s all in the tugs on his chest, the numbness in his fingers. Something that Levi can’t quite explain but feels like he doesn’t necessarily have to. All because this shitty coffee bastard waltzed into his world. It has to be irony. That he would fall in love with someone like this. Someone like  _Eren._

But wait.

_Wait._

_Love?_

“Levi,” Eren says again, and he is quick to glance back up to that demanding gaze, shock etched into his features from his own self-realization. Levi feels like he might be shaking, fingers tapping against that damn mahogany. But then Eren is leaning forward, hand moving whispers on the back of Levi’s neck. And all he can do is let himself fall, let Eren tug him closer until he’s just teetering on the edge. “Is this okay?” He hears Eren murmur the words as they sit a breath apart. Words aren’t something Levi trusts his voice to use appropriately, so he settles for nodding his head, waiting for Eren to pull him closer and–

Yes, it’s love.

Butterflies in the stomach, movie nights on a Saturday,  _love._

He realizes it the moment those chapped lips meet his own, tart and bitter, tasting of a morning grind. And for once, Levi wants more of the flavor, the man who absolutely abhors coffee in all of its forms. It really is irony. But Levi is okay with that. Especially when Eren is kissing him like this. With that strong hand tugging him closer, the other still gripping his own hand. Levi has never believed in fairytales, but he thinks this is a little magical.

Eyes pinched shut, the only thing Levi can do is feel. Those lips moving against his own, those fingers digging into the nape of his neck.

And then the feeling is suddenly gone.

Eren is pulling away, and Levi is left sitting, eyes closed, in a squeaky, wooden chair.

That hand still rests atop his, though. Still squeezing, still wanting.

And Levi opens his eyes.  

There’s a smirk settled on the bastard’s face. Like the cat that ate the canary. Levi is surprised that Eren isn’t meowing. Truth be told, he probably looks just as ridiculous, red faced and awkward. But right now Levi doesn’t want to think about how bizarre he appears. Doesn’t want to think about the dumb revenge plots. No, the only thing he wants running through his mind is how he feels right now. In this moment, swimming in an ocean of bliss.

“You okay over there?” And of course, Eren Coffeeshit would ruin it. Pulled out of an unconventional paradise, Levi sighs. It’s really all he is good for nowadays. And scowling. Levi is pretty damn good at that. Eren is finding out first hand just  _how_ good as Levi glares over to him.

“Peachy,” he mutters, the word not having half as much bite as Levi would like for it to contain. And god, does Eren know it, that smug bastard. Levi just rolls his eyes, a subtle smirk pulling at his lips as he gently pinches the underside of Eren’s wrist. “Just peachy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss, kiss, fall in love ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
> 
> [Tumblr](http://fuzzyporcupine.tumblr.com).


	7. I Love You (A Latte)

The night is quiet, still except for the occasional car buzzing past the row of establishments. He closed up a couple of hours ago, but Levi has made it into a sort of habit to wait for Eren to lock up before heading home. Levi tells himself that he does this because with the extra traffic in the shop, he’s had hardly any time to stock the new shipments of tea leaves. But really, it’s so he can make sure Eren isn’t dragged off to be mugged in some cold, decrepit alley. Okay – that might be a lie, too. They are in a _decent_ part of town. At least, that’s what Levi likes to think. So, maybe the god honest truth is that he just enjoys walking the little bastard home. Even if Eren does live on the opposite side of town.

Finally, the lights of _Better Latte than Never_ flick out, and Levi finds himself already moving towards the front door. There’s still a slow dying chill lacing the air, winter fading into the early signs of spring. It hits Levi directly in the face as he steps out into the breeze, hand pulling the shop door closed behind himself as he moves to cross the street. Something deep in the pit of his stomach twists at the sight of Eren waiting for him on the opposite side of the road, all bright smiles and windblown hair. So goddamn infuriatingly gorgeous that Levi can already feel the start of a flush paint itself on his cheeks. Bottom lip receding between his teeth, Levi ducks slightly shaking hands into the spaces between his jacket pockets, hoping that the damnable blush will fade by the time he reaches Eren.

But if the kid notices anything, he doesn’t say it, merely falling in line beside Levi along the sidewalk. Levi doesn’t really have any idea why Eren still affects him this badly, considering they have only kissed once, twice, maybe three times – _six times,_ Levi thinks. Maybe he is just perpetually doomed to be an awkward, blunt oaf. He’s certainly not pulled any of the fancy romantic stops that Eren has. But, who knows, the social gracelessness could be what Eren likes about him.

Levi cringes.

“You okay?” The tone dancing around Eren’s voice makes Levi’s eyes narrow slightly, feeling a little like he’s the butt of an inside joke. One that will ultimately end with Levi, no doubt, keeling over with embarrassment. Even though he _has_ been through the mortification of gifting Eren with innuendo laden coffee mugs. Levi doesn’t think things could necessarily get any worse than _that_. Theoretically.

“Fine,” he mumbles into the collar of his jacket, blatantly ignoring the now wolfish grin plastered on Eren’s face. He doesn’t know what the bastard is up to, but facial expressions like that have never fared well for Levi. He is friends with Hanji, after all.

With that in mind, many things can’t scare him, either; nonetheless, Eren’s hand sliding inside his pocket causes Levi to jolt a few feet off the ground. Before he can say anything, however, that hand has wrapped around his own, heat slowly embracing him in a simplest of ways. It’s enough to have the previous suspicion falling from his face, being replaced something similar to relaxation. Levi expects Eren to pull their linked hands out of the slit, but to his surprise, they stay locked inside of his pocket. And if he has to be completely honest, Levi doesn’t think he’s ever been more in love.

A part of him is hoping that it doesn’t show of his cheeks, on the way he grips Eren’s hand tightly behind the fabric. It’s not that he doesn’t want the brunet to know, it’s just that this is a first for him. The love thing. And if there is one thing Levi understands about love – which is admittedly not that much – it is that it’s very confusing. So, who’s to say that Eren would accept his confession? Or break his heart? It’s too small a wire to walk, and Levi can’t help but feel cornered in his own skin.

“I feel a little guilty,” Eren starts, breaking Levi out of his reverie as he casts a glance upwards to the brunet next to him, “You staying so late to walk me home.”

“I don’t mind.” He answers a little too quickly, at least for someone who is trying to keep the tumultuous churning in his gut at bay.

“Well, that’s the thing. I feel like _I_ should mind, or at least feel a little embarrassed for stealing your time.” Eren releases a small chuckle, squeezing Levi’s hand beneath the fabric. “But I don’t.” Levi can feel his face start to flush once again. “I’m always glad to see you waiting there for me.” And it’s almost like the breath from his lungs has been drawn out with those words, leaving him completely speechless and bare. He feels like stealing it back. Wrapping his hand around the nape of Eren’s neck and taking air in the form of messy kisses and fisted hands. But all he does is gape up at Eren, all he _can_ do.

God, Levi’s got it bad.

It isn’t long before Eren is tugging them both forward, Levi’s feet clumsily shuffling along the beaten sidewalk. He is more than a little distracted considering Eren’s ability to be a completely adorable little shit. So, Levi doesn’t exactly blame himself when the tip of his shoe catches in between an unsightly sidewalk crack. But obviously along with Eren’s qualifications as a barista, he has also trained as a fucking ninja; because before Levi can impact with the ground, Eren catches him against a solid chest. Levi tries not to blush too hard.

He quickly pulls away, not wanting to focus on the toned muscle his hands definitely were feeling. And also because Levi feels as if he might actually self-implode if all of these bottled feelings continue to be shaken. The effect will probably be similar to the time Hanji loaded an entire row of Mentos into a Pepsi bottle, Levi thinks. Embarrassing and extremely messy. He doesn’t really want to remember the vendetta their science teacher had on the pair after that. But when the only other thing he can focus on is the way Eren’s chest felt beneath his fingertips, Levi might actually prefer reminiscing about burned eyebrows.

“Hope you’re not superstitious.” Eren has went back to gripping his hand, and Levi silently hopes that his palms aren’t too sweaty.

“Why?”

“You know, step on a crack, break your mother’s back.”

“My mother’s dead,” Levi deadpans.

Eren’s face pales so quickly that Levi would find it hilarious if not for the sheer morbidity of the subject. “Don’t shit yourself,” he adds, “I never even met her.” A slight tint begins to return to Eren’s complexion, along with the relaxation of the tight squeeze he has on Levi’s hand.

“Oh. Well.” A beat of silence. “You could have told me!” Eren shouts, eyes wide and erratic. Levi tries to reason with the little voice in his head that is begging him to run while he’s got the chance, but it just gets louder as Eren continues to ramble about ‘how many jokes he could have accidentally made about Levi’s dead mother’, and ‘oh **_god_** _, why didn’t you tell me?’_. “She was probably a good woman, too. I mean, you’re sort of an asshole, so maybe not, but–”

“Eren.” A deep breath. “You’re an idiot.” And Levi keeps walking, grudgingly tugging said idiot along with him.

* * *

 

Eren’s apartment is… well, he can’t really say much, considering he’s never actually been inside of it. Yet, here Levi stands, a man secretly enamored and ready to explode, shifting from right to left as he waits for Eren to unlock the door.  

“Goddammit, I swore it was that one.” He would probably have rolled his eyes four keys ago, but Levi’s too caught up with anticipation to really do anything but rock nervously side to side. “Success!” Eren yells, and Levi is so tense that he almost jumps out of his skin at the high pitch flooding his eardrums. Thankfully, Eren hasn’t stuck around to witness Levi’s descent into the otherworldly realm, the door being slung wide in what Levi assumes is an open invitation to come inside.

Keys click loudly against the kitchen counter as he watches Eren march over to the refrigerator. Levi feels like a dirty, old pervert, licking his lips when the brunet reaches for something inside the fridge, ass sticking straight up into the air. Yeah, if there is a hell, Levi is definitely going there.

“You want anything?” The voice is muffled by the fact that Eren’s speaking directly into the fridge, but Levi isn’t really thirsty anyway. _Well, you’re thirsty for something, you depraved, old man._ He sighs. “Beer?” It’s being tossed over to him before he can say no, and Eren better be glad that owning a tea shop hasn’t dulled his reflexes.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, popping the cap with a violet hiss. Foam edges out onto the lid, and Levi is quick to lift the can to his lips. Thin brows furrow as he takes a swig, pulling off the opening with a cringe.

“Not your thing?” Eren’s smirking, and if Levi has learned anything about the obnoxious little shit over the past few months, it’s that smirking is _never_ a good sign. Well, almost never.

He hums noncommittally, bringing the can up to take another drink just in spite of Eren’s mischievous gaze. Beer really _isn’t_ his thing.

Midway in between another cringe, Eren has made it over to a plush, leather couch. He’ll hand it to the bastard, Eren’s not living _that_ badly. Well, better than what Levi anticipated: ramen noodles and newspaper beds. Maybe that was just his irritation for the shithead getting to him, though. There’s a slapping noise, and Levi looks over to see Eren patting the seat next to him. That _feeling_ rolls through his stomach again, overwhelming and exciting at the same time. Making him glad that he has something to hold onto as he notices his hands starting to shake. God, he’s never felt like this.

Heart thumping, Levi’s feet begin to move forward until he’s close enough to slump down beside Eren. The couch may be comfortable, but it’s tiny, their thighs brushing against each other as Levi tries to swallow down the urge to bolt out of the door. The beer in his hands is quickly deposited on the table in front of him, and Levi could probably use the excuse that he doesn’t want to spill the drink due to his nerves, but to be honest, he really does hate beer.

“Levi.” The voice coming from the brunet sitting next to him has taken on a lower, sultry tone. Levi feels like he can’t breathe, heartbeat dancing in his ears like a constant white noise. He probably should have taken a couple more sips from that beer. But there’s not a beat that passes before Eren is suddenly throwing long, lithe legs alongside his hips, straddling him against the couch.

“What are you doing?” He somehow manages to not mangle the words, even if they do sound a little quiet and squeaky.

“What do you _think_ I’m doing?” Eren murmurs in a voice that is simultaneously arousing and confusing Levi, lips now dangerously close to the shell of his ear. “Hmm?” He’s not totally sure if Eren is looking for an answer, but that’s definitely something Levi isn’t going to be able to provide, mind still trying to process why the fuck Eren has decided to jump into his lap. Before he can ask again, however, something distinctively wet is tracing along the outside of his ear.

Hand jolting to cover the side of his head from any more of Eren’s advances, Levi musters up the most offended look he can possibly manage while feeling too hot for his own skin. “ _What_ are you doing?” Eren has leaned back, countering Levi’s expression with one of complete confusion.

There’s a span of awkward silence, only broken by Levi’s exasperated breathing as they silently regard at each other. Then, Eren is clearing his throat, seemingly knocked out of whatever daze Levi threw him into. “Um, getting you in mood?” He’s still holding a hand over his ear, still looking thoroughly affronted. But it’s not like Levi walked into Eren’s apartment expecting to get jumped like they were both horny high schoolers playing hooky behind the football field bleachers. No, maybe a movie, _maybe_ a make out session. Not… whatever Eren was planning obviously.

“By slobbering on my fucking ear?”

He watches Eren roll his eyes, hands flying up into the air. “I thought it was sexy!” For a moment, Levi thinks he might be thrown out of Eren’s apartment, but then the kid’s shoulders are slumping with unspoken defeat. “I just… wanted to apologize.”

_Apologize?_

Levi’s eyes widen.

“You wanted to apologize for offending my dead mother with _sex_?” He tries not to raise his voice, but the thought is just so repulsive to him that the higher tones lacing his voice can’t really be helped.

“What?” He didn’t really think it was possible, but Eren looks even more confused than before. And disgusted. Very disgusted. Well, Levi’s thankful for that. “No! I meant… I wanted… From before! When we first met! Not… your dead mother…” Levi’s body sags with relief into the couch. At least he isn’t dating a psycho, just an annoying bastard. _An annoying bastard who you have somehow fallen in love with,_ his conscious reminds him. Right.

“Oh.” Levi swallows hard. “Well, I guess you can continue.” He tries his best not to look utterly mortified, but the red is already staining his cheeks so hard that Levi wouldn’t be surprised if he was tattooed with a full body blush.

Thick brow raised, Eren is looking at him like Levi just asked him to give him a kidney. Well, he really didn’t think things could get anymore awkward.

Slowly pushing his body off the couch Levi starts, “Just forget–”

“Okay,” Eren quickly interrupts, hands already finding their way to the front of Levi’s shirt.

“Wait,” Levi says, gripping Eren’s wrists before they can move any further, “I’m tired of calling you Eren Coffeefucker.” That brow quirks again, and Levi elaborates before the mood is totally destroyed, “What I mean is that I’d like to know the full name of the person grabbing my dick.”

At that, the brunet smirks, face softening as he leans in closer to Levi. “Jaeger.” _Eren Jaeger._ Well, it has a nice ring to it, Levi thinks. His mouth is opening, because it seems only fair to let Eren know the full identity of the man he’s been wooing; but Eren’s quicker, cutting him off before the words can pass his lips. “And you’re Levi Ackerman.” Those hands start to work on tugging his shirt over his head. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. You’re shop is named _Ackerman’s._ ” Levi scoffs. He’d never been creative with titles, but he would _never_ resort to puns like a certain bright-eyed bastard.

And then Eren’s hands are running up his chest – and _goddammit_ , Levi swears he’s done this before, but all that experience has seemingly flown out the window, because fuck him why else would the universe align him with a bitter enemy other than to make him look like a complete idiot beneath the sheets? It’s obviously karma for something awful he’s done in the past, but Levi’s trying not to think about how terrible this might end for him. Instead just focusing on the way Eren’s hands are tracing lines into his thighs – _wait, when did he get my pants off?_

Levi doesn’t know. Levi doesn’t care. Levi just – _oh, that’s nice._

Hands are grasping at his hips as Eren rolls into him, and Levi feels like he should be doing something besides just laying back against the couch. But Eren doesn’t seem to have a problem with doing all of the work, thumbs digging into the pale skin right above the waistband of Levi’s boxers. Slim fingers begin to press into the leather of the couch, eyes fluttering as Levi lets Eren move effortlessly against him.

Something that sounds like his name falls off Eren’s lips, raspy and gritty, and Levi thinks that they should have both just skipped the weeks of hating each other in favor of doing things like this. It is much more practical, at least by Levi’s standards.

“I never do this,” Eren breathes, tanned hands now lifting Levi up from the couch in order to wrap his legs around Eren’s waist. “I mean, I’m not a virgin or anything, but I never – _fuck_ – do this.” Levi’s never been much of a talker in bed, and as he listens to Eren continue to ramble, he quickly remembers why. “Yeah, I really like you, Levi. I really like you a lot.” Well, he would hope that Eren would be at least a little fond of him considering the way they’re slamming against each other. If not, then this whole thing would be a bit awkward. More awkward than it already is, Levi thinks, with the way Eren is blathering. “And I don’t like a lot of people, so–” The voice is muffled with Levi’s lips pressing harshly against the brunet’s own, tongue and teeth colliding in a chaotic desperation.

Eren’s bottom lip tugged between his teeth, Levi tries to keep up with the increasingly frantic pace Eren is setting, friction pushing Levi closer and closer to an edge he didn’t even know was within sight. Fingers reaching out, he digs into Eren’s forearms, looking for something – anything – to hold him down to this quickly fading reality.

But then Eren is pulling away, mouth opening like he’s going to say something else completely unnecessary and Levi’s just _way too close_ to let Eren’s rambling ruin this, so he might half yell, half mutter, “Shut – _ah, ah, ah_ – _UP_!” And it works like a charm, the kid’s mouth slamming shut almost as fast as the pace of their hips. But Levi can’t even find it in himself to feel bad as the wave of ecstasy finally washes over him, body going stiff and reducing into a puddle of climatic shivers.

It takes him a few moments to return to earth, but when he does, Levi notices the heavy weight pressed against his chest, the shaggy mess of dark hair brushing beneath his chin. The smirk that appears isn’t something Levi can help, and he blames it on the hangover of pleasure he’s currently experiencing. 

“I think I threw my hip out,” Eren mutters into his skin; and Levi shouldn’t laugh, but the chuckle escapes past his lips before he can swallow it back down. “Hey, old man, I still got my entire life to live.” A wince flickers across the brunet’s face as he tries to sit up. “I actually might need some help up.”

“Oh no, looks like we’ll have to take a nap. Whatever shall we do?” Levi mumbles, sarcasm dripping off his words as he reaches down to tug Eren closer. He faintly hears Eren mutter something about Levi being a lazy, old bastard, but he also notices that the brunet doesn’t seem to shy away from the warmth of Levi’s embrace. Lounging in soiled boxers has never been appealing to Levi, but for some reason the thought of leaving his spot on the couch seems utterly ridiculous. Especially when someone like Eren Jaeger is laying on top of him. 

He falls asleep to the sound of Eren’s steady breathing on his chest and the thought that yeah, he really does love this kid.

* * *

 

“Sure you don’t need any help over there?”

“Fuck off.” If someone told Levi that he would willingly go back to a coffee shop to create ‘latte art’, he would have probably asked if their asshole was broken from the shit coming out of their mouth. But here he is, hunkered over the mug while trying to keep Eren’s curious gaze from peering over his shoulder. “You never told me how you knew Erwin.” Levi figures that if he changes the subject, it will distract Eren enough to stop trying to be a noisy little shit… and he has always been curious about how Eren was acquainted with ‘Mr. Smith’.

“He plays golf with my dad,” comes Eren’s quick reply. And Levi has to take a second to imagine Erwin, being the giant lard he is, swinging a golf club. If anything, the beast of a man probably looks like Paul Bunyan out on the course. But those thoughts are quickly dissolved as a pair of arms starts to wrap around his waist.

“Get away, you fucking nuisance.” This only prompts Eren to bury his head in between Levi’s shoulder blades, the stubborn bastard he is. And Levi is five seconds away from kicking Eren square in the shin, consequences be damned, he’s short and can get away with shit like that.

Just before he lifts his foot, Eren releases him, “Fine, fine.” Levi can’t spare to look away from the foam filling the mug, but he can imagine Eren’s look of annoyance well enough. However, Levi’s cup is almost finished, and he figures that once Eren sees what’s inside he won’t be so aggravated.

Swirling the foam one last time, Levi finishes the latte as best he can for someone with little no experience in matters of coffee. Placing the mug on the counter, he glances up to see Eren sitting at one of the bar stools, staring out into one of the vertical windows lining the shop.

“Eren,” he says, pushing the cup over to the brunet’s elbow. His voice thankfully doesn’t give away the anxiety raging inside his chest, but his hands aren’t so forgiving, subtly shaking as they hover on the counter. It’s just that this… what he is giving Eren makes him so vulnerable, so open. That if Eren rejects it, god, Levi will be devastated. More than devastated, actually. The words for how broken Levi will feel can’t even be strung together. Levi just knows that with this, he’s giving Eren _everything_ he has to give. And that maybe Eren will return the favor.

He holds his breath as Eren’s eyes scan over the foam on the mug. For a split second, Levi can feel his heart sink, and he begins to mentally prepare himself for the worst. But then Eren is looking at him. Looking at him like he’s the only one in this world. Like there is no one else Eren would rather be sitting in a comfy coffee shop with. And Levi knows when Eren pulls him into a chaste kiss that he has made the right decision in baring it all.

“I love you, too.” It’s whispered against his lips, sends shivers down his spine. Swallowed by another kiss, and another, murmured again and again. Until Levi can do nothing but grin as Eren repeats the phrase. And when he’s finally given some space, Levi looks down at the hot mess inside the mug. The crooked letters, morphed by the misplaced foam. It really is a miracle that Eren was able to make out the ‘I Love You’ clumsily streaking the white. And Levi guesses that in a sense it’s a sort of miracle that Eren built this shitty coffee shop across from his tea house. That Eren was such an insufferable little asshole. That he fell in love with Eren Jaeger. That’s definitely a mystery in itself. But Levi doesn’t feel like questioning it. No, the only thing he really wants to do is be held under the dim lights of _Better Latte than Never,_ listening to crappy indie music. Swaying in the arms of the kid – _the man_ – he’s somehow fallen in love with.

Yeah, Levi can think of several outcomes as to how he thought his relationship with Eren would end. Many of them involving one or both of them spending the night – or a few years – in a jail cell. But Levi’s glad it ended up like this. Especially as Eren starts to trail those soft, midnight kisses along the underside of his jaw.

“I love you,” Levi says aloud.

And he means it. More than anything he’s ever said in his entire life. That he loves this stubborn shit, almost as much as he loves goddamn tea.

“I know,” Eren murmurs into Levi’s neck.

Okay, maybe he loves the asshole just a little bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it, folks! Hope you all enjoyed these two dorks being obnoxious and falling in love! And thank you, LittleGreenPuppy for commissioning this fic because it was so fun to write! And gahh thanks to all the fabulous readers this fic has garnered!! I appreciate every single one of you! Until next time :'D


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